I remember seeing Cheryl Strayed speak about the release of her book Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail at the Seattle REI a couple of years ago. Cheryl and her book are in the limelight again due to the release of the move Wild, based on her book.
Cheryl found herself alone on the Pacific Crest Trail – inexperienced and desperate to reclaim her life after the loss of her Mom and the loss of her marriage. A two-state odyssey along the Pacific Crest Trail was her way of finding herself again grappling with the grief she was experiencing.
Solitude in the wilderness, and facing physical and mental challenges with no one to rely on but yourself, has a way of making things more clear and leading you to answers to what you are seeking.
I could relate to Cheryl not only because I lost my Mom to a devastating illness but also because I know the clarity and strength I have found on the trail. When things emotionally hurt the greatest is when I find myself most yearning to just say “fuck it” and set out on a long solo trip to find answers.
In my case, I did not set out on a solo hike for months but took a month-long, solo road trip when I was 19 to explore the country, do a lot of thinking, and learn some things about myself and life.
When my car got broken into, I gained the confidence to take care of emergencies on my own without the support of my family instead of running back home like I wanted to. I learned that the Pacific Northwest was one of the most amazing areas of the country and I appreciated living in this special place when I moved home like I never had before. I became much more adventurous in my daily life and learned to turn to the outdoors and solitude when I needed answers.
Loss can come in all shapes and sizes. Four years ago a couple lost their beloved dog Fortis, an Italian mastiff-like breed called a Canine Corso, to cancer. Fortis was like Brett and Pattie’s kid and they were shattered by the loss. “He was the love of our life,” Pattie said.
When Fortis died, Brett decided to deal with the loss by completing one of his childhood dreams – to hike the Appalacian trail. After some major setbacks, Pattie decided to join Brett on the trail and they completed the epic thru-hike. Together with their new dog, Willow, whom they rescued from the 2011 Texas wildfires, they became Team Fortis.
On Sept. 18, 2013, the trio reached the summit of Mount Katahdin in Maine, the final spot on the trail. It was there that they realized the great feat they had accomplished and they commemorated the event by releasing some of Fortis’ ashes into the wind.
Adventure continued to call and the trio hiked all 2,650 miles, 57 mountain passes, and 19 canyons of the Pacific Crest Trail in 2014. Brett and Pattie will be taking on the final leg of hiking’s Triple Crown – the Continental Divide Trail, which runs 3,100 miles from Canada to Mexico – next. Hiking over 6,000 miles through some really challenging terrain and situations was a way for Brett and Pattie to deal with the loss of Fortis and honor his memory.
In December 2014, a man named Luke completed a 2,000 mile walk with his two dogs – from the Canadian border to the Mexican border – to raise awareness about canine cancer. This was actually the second leg of his adventure because he had previously completed a walk along the east coast for the same cause.
Luke and Indiana – 2 Dogs 2,000 Miles
While the journey was not in the woods, it was a solo walk that gave Luke a lot of time to think about his loss. He shared his story with others along the way to heal and help others deal with this terrible disease. It was an adventure for sure.
Luke was a successful business man in San Antonio, Texas. He never intended to be a dog owner but fate brought him and his first dog, Malcom, a Great Pyrenees, together. He said that Malcom “changed his life.” They became good friends and companions.
Malcom developed cancer and eventually lost his fight. Luke said, “When I lost my first boy to cancer, it just changed me. I wanted to know why.” so he set out on his own to reflect and find some answers. Along the way he found one answer in his mission to help people understand this terrible disease and grieve fro their own losses.
Not all epic adventures start from a place of loss. Some people are motivated to take on big adventures due to the excitement of them alone. However, everyone comes back from it a changed person, with a new perspective, and with a new clarity about who they are in the world. The next time you need a big change in life – you have hit rock bottom, are emotionally drained, or just need to hit the restart button – you might want to consider checking that big dream of adventure off of your bucket list.
Have you ever undertaken a great adventure that changed your life?
Lauren Miller says
I think the biggest adventure I’ve ever done was our move to Oregon and we did it twice!!
I am so sorry about your mom, I lost my mom, too. I was 16 at the time and we weren’t really getting along. I was a teenager and it was a bad age. She died very suddenly due to a blood clot in her heart. Anyways, I wish I had had more time with her. 🙁
Whenever I feel sad or depressed I take my dogs to the forest and hike. It’s just so peaceful and I always feel better. The longest hike we’ve ever done was 10 miles and it took all day because I’m pretty slow but I was glad I did it.
Jessica Rhae says
I am sorry about your Mom. I still believe that only someone who has lost a parent themselves can really understand what it is like. There are no words. I am lucky in that I had enough time to say everything I wanted to say to her before she went. Just know that, even in that kind of situation, there was still more I wished I had said. It’s never enough time. 10 miles is a significant hike and it doesn’t matter that it took you all day. It’s the journey that matters, not how fast you get there 🙂
Mary says
Well, yes. When we moved into the RV 2 1/ 2 years ago, the adventure began. We were saddled with a house we couldn’t afford anymore, and the desire to get the hell out of town. Best thing we ever did, and I don’t see it changing anytime soon.
Jessica Rhae says
I only experienced it for that month but there is something so freeing about being on the road and not having all that stuff tying you down and forcing decisions that aren’t really what you want. It was a brave leap you took but clearly a great decision.
Juliet Whitfield says
Great post Jessica. Today is the 1st anniversary of my Dad’s passing. 2014 was a big year of grief for me. My Minnie dog passed on Jan 3, 1 week before my dearest Dad. It took me all year to process, only 1 year later can I have a little peace with it all. Now I’m on a solo journey with my pups, exploring the country, making connections. I really enjoyed the article, thanks for writing it.
Jessica Rhae says
Oh, that is still so new. My Mom died almost 20 years ago but it still feels like yesterday. My Grandma, her mother who I was very close with, died three years ago. I still struggle with it so much. It’s much easier to pick up and go in search of answers when you are young with less obligations. I really admire you for taking that leap. You are going to have so much fun.
Elaine says
I’ve never taken off for a huge adventure to find myself or to heal from something going on in my life, but when I’m down or facing a challenge in my life, I’ve always turned to getting away and getting back to nature. Even if it’s a day hike, there’s something about being alone (or being along with your dog) and being one with nature that tends to clear the mind and heal the soul. Great post!
Jessica Rhae says
Yeah, just getting outside and getting your blood pumping helps. When I used to be able to run I loved using to meditate, “run out the anger” and solve problems. Nowadays my activity of choice is hiking with Chester and Gretel but sometimes we don’t have the time to drive to the trail. Walking the neighborhood is not quite the same but it works in a pinch.
Pamela says
We get so disconnected from the world. We live in climate-controlled houses, getting entertainment from screens, and eating food processed for us.
I think it’s good for everyone to find some way to pull back from our secure lives, whether it’s by taking a long solo trip, facing a fear, or pulling up stakes and traveling in a new setting.
I hope that our coming move to a boat does that for us. Hopefully with fewer lost toenails than Cheryl Strayed. 🙂
Jessica Rhae says
Yes, you will hopefully lose less toenails 🙂
I think any extended trip that moves you outside of your comfort zone, and brings unforseen adventure, is good for self-exploration. You guys are going to have such a great time!
Hailey and Zaphod says
Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed Cheryl’s book as well. I have never taken a big adventure because of loss, but I did have the opportunity to step out of my life for 3 months and live in Tokyo. I loved it. It was amazing. I don’t know if it totally changed my life, but it did give me a different perspective on life. Life is all about the journey after all!
Jessica Rhae says
A different perspective = changed life to me. You never look at the world in the same way. I do think that the more you are alone to reflect, and have to rely on yourself, the bigger the impact is but I think living outside of the country for a while is a very valuable experience.
Sachi U. says
Hi Jessica–Really enjoyed this post. Thank you for sharing!
Rama's Mama says
I related to this post SO much. My blog pretty much centers around how walking with dogs saved my sanity during difficult times in my own life. In my case it was the loss of my marriage and then later, the loss of any sense of control in my life after a mastectomy and several reconstructive surgeries. Right now I am prepping for some very much needed outdoor therapy. It can’t come fast enough.
Jessica Rhae says
Oooo….do you have a big trip planned? The last big trip I took was a month long trip in Europe with my hubby for our honeymoon (including a week of hiking). While the trip was great, the experience is totally different when you are with another person. I did drive to BlogPaws alone with the pups last year over a period of 10 days. Not all of those days were “alone” because of the conference and the people I visited along th way but it did help to make some things clearer for me.
Jodi says
No, no big adventures here. Just our little slice of heaven at the top of the street.
Jen Gabbard says
I remember reading about Luke awhile back and how inspiring his story was. There really is something to say about solitude, or at least “tuning out” and taking in your surroundings. I remember how impressed a teacher was in college when he said he’d seen my walking around campus without headphones – I said “how else can I hear my own thoughts?” I love being outside with my dog – we don’t need anything fancy. Just a nice trek around the neighborhood or hike through the woods. It helps clear the mind.